Regulating the nervous system and embodiment, are subjects frequently discussed, and there are many systems to help with both. Some simple, some complex and some not as portable or practical as you would hope.
Under the guise of the Alexander Technique, I’ve been living and teaching embodiment and nervous system regulation for over quarter of a century. For me, it’s still a work in progress. I continue to learn and discover challenges within myself, how to overcome them and how to best interact with my environment. I’m still working on embodiment and skilfully regulating my nervous system. As long as I’m alive, I’ll be doing this, because there are some things in life that aren’t about being fixed; some things are to be explored, uncovered and discovered. Some things are to be felt, responded to, and experienced.
You are allowed to feel the feelings. You’re allowed to feel the anger as well as the joy, the chaos as well as the peace, the fear as well as the love. Humans are complex which, we’ve got a lot going on. And that’s ok.
What isn’t ok, is habitually sinking into a pattern of nervous system response because our body only knows how to “do” fight or flight or freeze. This is where we can get into some trouble, health wise.
Your response pattern may have been to shut down, go inward; to freeze to keep you safe from the situations at home or school. Your dissociation was a necessary part of childhood, which is sad but so often true. The whole organism, that is you, found the best way to survive the danger and pain that was real. But now, you’re in charge. You can make choices to keep you safe, comfortable and feeling secure. You’re in charge of you. The question is, do you know that?
Running on old programming
When the plate crashes to the floor in the kitchen (because it just slipped out of someone’s hand) how do you respond?
Can you shake off your alarm in an instant because you see it was a simple accident? Or are you gripped with fear, ready to apologise/clear it up/run away? Do you rush to clear it up because all breakages must be your fault? Are you waiting for the terrible consequence, that now as an adult, isn’t on its way?
Your heightened response was so relevant back when you weren’t safe, but now all that’s needed is a “whoops! Do you want some help with that?” No need to stop breathing, no need to lose your connection to Self, no need to stay in the tension.
You’re in charge of you now, you can let your body respond to the shock and then release yourself out of it – in just a moment, you can go from alarm to calm, when you have the skills to do so.
These skills need learning; they need practicing in a quiet space. Interrupting your learned response isn’t easy at first but it is possible.
Instead of trying to remember to think in a different way (which never really works in a high energy situation) learning to feel, to connect to oneself and (the real not perceived) environment, means we can swiftly assess the situation and change our response if needed. As we embody in the moment, we can recognise if it’s simply an old pattern coming around again or if the fight, flight or freeze is necessary.
As you find your feet and supportive back YOU can decide if that fight/flight is needed, because it’s not always about switching off the fire – sometimes we need this energy to make the changes in the world and our lives for the better, and learning to recognise when you’ve gone into freeze so you can unfreeze and speak your truth is important.
Learning to come back to ourselves in the quiet still moments, prepares us for the times of drama and challenge, as well as joy.
As we become skilled at dropping into this awareness, of recognising where we’re at, it gives us the conscious choice of response. Responding from a grounded you is the truthful you, whether that’s stepping up for the fight or letting go because the drama was just an illusion, an echo from your past.